Step One...

My name is "sobermommie" ... and I'm an alcoholic.
Feels good right. It did for me the first time I could admit it... out loud... to other people.
I always felt different. I always felt like I didn't belong. 
I read self-help books. I went to support groups...not AA.. because alcohol wasn't my problem.
My husband is my problem.
My kids are my problem.
My childhood issues ... alcoholic parents, unstable family life, fighting, moving all the time, changing schools ... if you had my upbringing you would drink too. 
BUT my drinking isn't my problem.
((( my inner monologue for as long as I can remember )))
It wasn't until I could let go completely that the obsession was lifted.
So, on November 16th, 2009 - I arrived at Step One...
"We admitted we were powerless over alcohol -- and that our lives had become unmanageable." 
That is a mouthful so let's break it down...

I admitted I am powerless over alcohol.... in my terms - I don't know how to do "one".
I overindulge when I drink and one was NEVER enough... more, more, more!!!

I admitted my life was unmanageable.... I am so NOT in control!
Ugh .. that was a tough one. Honestly it still is. But I know it is my truth today and I am ok with that.

I work Step 1 each and every day when I get on my knees and pray to God (MY higher power).
I can not walk through my day without turning my will and my life over to God.
The way I do that is to pray for it each day.

Here are the two main questions I was asked when I started my journey (by my amazing sponsor)...
1. Do you think you have a drinking problem?
2. Are you willing to go to any lengths to stop drinking?

Answering "YES" to both of those questions.... I was on my road to recovery! 
finally....